April Fool's Fool

Happy April Fool’s Day!

As children this was among our favorite days. A day of playing pranks on each other.

“There’s a spider on your back!”

“What? Where?” (twisting and turning to look)

 “April Fools!”

My goodness we were clever.

This exercise in fool-tility (I think I just made up a word) was not without merit. At a young age, we were learning how to tap into the archetypal fool that is in each of us. An archetype is defined as “… an original pattern of which all other similar persons, objects, or concepts are derived, copied, modeled, or emulated. The psychologist, Carl Gustav Jung, used the concept of archetype in his theory of the human psyche. He believed that universal, mythic characters—archetypes—reside within the collective unconscious of people the world over. Archetypes represent fundamental human motifs of our experience as we evolved; consequentially, they evoke deep emotions.” –Soulcraft.com 

Jung went on to classify 12 major archetypes that symbolize our human motivations. As individuals we are inclined to adopt particular archetypes that resonate with our personal beliefs, patterns and habits. These archetypes are with us from birth paving the way to the person we will become and evolving with us as we mature. Each archetype has a healthy or positive side which mirrors the strengths of that archetype. An archetype also possesses an unhealthy or shadow side which plays out when we live in a perpetual state of fear. We may not be aware of our shadow side, and in this unaware state, we project negativity onto others. It becomes a defense mechanism.

Enter the Fool Archetype - the goal of the Fool is pure joy, pleasure and being alive.

I don’t believe I was born funny. I believe I chose to be funny and cultivated my sense of humor as a coping mechanism. I learned from a young age that people responded in a certain way if I could make them laugh. Sometimes I used humor to deflect the anger of a parent or other authority figure while other times I used humor to get attention. Either way, it served a purpose and if I could make people happy, then I was safe. Who doesn’t love an adorable, people-pleasing, joke-telling child? My claim to fame at that time: the knock-knock joke. I slayed.

As I reached my teenage years, I went through a wicked bout of depression. There were days I could barely get myself out of bed. Luckily, I was more extroverted than introverted and my desire to be in the world was stronger than my desire to stay in my room. But, I couldn’t exist as I was: sad, vulnerable and afraid, so I made a deliberate shift. I can almost pinpoint the day I decided to channel all that sadness and fear into being a smart ass.

Enter the Shadow Fool - the goal of the shadow fool is to hide the true self, use cleverness to get out of trouble and tell the truth without impunity (which really means to say what you want to say regardless of another person’s feelings).

Developing a cutting sense of humor was the perfect smokescreen. I created a persona that concealed my inner fears and melancholy while keeping most people laughing and virtually everyone else at arm’s length. I did in fact use humor to get out of trouble and I said things with the sole purpose of getting a get a rise out of others. I remember my favorite high school teacher telling me that I can dazzle ‘em with brilliance or baffle ‘em with bullshit. It was up to me. I chose the latter and my comedic armor was sarcasm. Again, I slayed.

Over time this persona became a caricature of my younger self. The little girl’s charms were long since discarded and replaced with abrasive defiance. Believe it or not, this, too, served me. As I made people laugh at the expense of myself and/or others, my armor became impenetrable giving me a false sense of safety. I used self-deprecating humor and stinging commentary to navigate my way through my 20s but became even more fearful and disconnected. Basically, I was held hostage by the very shadow fool I so carefully created.

Enter the Wise Fool - the goal of the wise fool is to live life fully in the moment, celebrate life for its own sake and find the humor in the seriousness of life.

In my 30s, I made a conscious decision to take responsibility for the insensitivity of my behavior. Reinventing myself as the wise fool, one who is witty but not caustic became my objective. It was a relief to allow a chink in my armor. Most gratifying was how differently others responded to me. It’s not that I lost my edge, because let’s be honest, that’s never going to happen. I merely learned to use my powers for good and to use humor in a healthy, positive manner.

Through the haze of Alzheimer’s, my dad saw the difference. By this time I was in my 40s. My parents were staying with me for an extended period of time so I could help care for my dad as he had for me years prior when I was gravely ill. One day, my dad and I were watching TV. He was sitting in his favorite chair and I was half asleep on the couch. Ellen DeGeneres was performing her monologue as my dad watched in silence. He smirked, turned to me and said, “Why don’t you have your own show? You could do what she does. You’re prettier and funnier than she is and you’re a blond.” I said, “Dad, I haven’t been a blond for over a decade.” His reply, “Dammit, Kammi, I just don’t see you as bald. I see you with hair. And, it doesn’t matter. You’re the funniest person I know.”

The point is that he saw me as he saw Ellen … the ultimate wise fool … hilarious without being mean spirited. Exactly what I had hoped to become. That’s the cosmic joke: I was this person all along but had buried my core essence so deeply I disconnected from myself. As I reconnected with who I was created to be, I connected with the wise fool. I used humor to help heal from illness (laughter being the best medicine), became more resilient and authentic, and in the process, developed a higher level of spiritually. Humor presented me with the of gift speaking my truth in an uplifting, compassionate way.

Of course, receiving that early validation from my dad was the greatest gift for this Fool.

10 Awesome Ways the (Wise) Fool Archetype Could Increase Your Success (from the Coaching Tools Company)

1      1.  Lighten up a Difficult Situation: Use the Fool's ability to see the humor in a situation to uncover the silver lining (and even the funny side) of a difficult or challenging situation in your life.

2      2. Get More Energy: Use the Fool's view that life is a game to allow expression of your playful side at work (or maybe at home!). When we have fun, life is easier and we move forwards with less effort.

3      3. Have More Fun: Use the Fool's zest for life and make decisions based on what gives you joy and pleasure (instead of doing the sensible thing). Do something unusual or exciting, just for the fun of it! You may find this leads to unexpected successes both in business and life.

4      4 .Get Creative! Use the Fool's inventiveness to come up with creative and unusual solutions to problems and obstacles.

5      5. Say What Needs to be Said: Use the Fool's lack of worry re: what other people think to say what needs to be said. Or simply share your wisdom in situations where you might usually 'hide your light under a bushel'.

6      6. Be in the moment: Use the Fool's ability to be present to enjoy life now, despite what else may be going on in the bigger picture of your life.

7      7. Stay committed: Use the Fool's trust in the process to worry less and stay committed to yourself during a difficult situation or challenging time of your life.

8      8. Kickstart the next stage of your life: Use the Fool's dancing mind and hunger for fun and adventure - to give you the push you need for the next step of your journey.

9      9, Get Back on the Horse: Use the Fool's resilience - to help you get back up after a difficulty, or after several difficulties. Keep going - and still embrace life, despite setbacks.

        10. Breakout! Challenge the rules and/or authority where they're getting in your way. Use the Fool's irreverence to challenge the rules, to do something new and inventive and break the barriers of what is normal and expected!