Total Eclipse of the Heart ... and Soul

Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I’m only falling apart. Nothing I can do. Total eclipse of the heart.  Who remembers Bonnie Tyler’s epic 1983 ballad ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’? Her huge hair. Her raspy voice. Her complete surrender.

For our viewing pleasure (in some parts of the world), the heavens will delight us with a total eclipse of the sun on March 8, 2016. It seems that a total eclipse of anything does not bode well for the thing being eclipsed. Blocked. Concealed. Mooned, as it were. Plus, you can go blind looking into the eyes of the eclipsed sun. I know because it almost happened to me.

On a clear, blue, crisp, winter day, our middle school science class was all a buzz about a solar eclipse. Our teacher, Mrs. Castle, did her best to educate us on the scientific significance of the eclipse and warn us of the dangers of looking at the sun. Something about burning out our retinas. I don’t know if that’s true. You know … science. She created a safe viewing mechanism and set it up in the library for students and faculty to witness the celestial marvel.   As I waited in line, I couldn’t wait to take my turn observing the moon as it cast its shadow on the sun, just knowing it was going to change my life. I stepped up to the viewer, looked into the heavens and, well, quite frankly, I was not impressed. To say it was anti-climactic after all the hype leading up to it is an understatement.

Disappointed and disillusioned, I went outside with my friends during our lunch hour. It was a beautiful, clear day in the UP. We kicked around the snow and talked about very important middle school girl things. When the bell rang, we headed back inside. At the very last minute, just like Lot’s wife fleeing Sodom and Gomorrah, I turned around and looked back. Into the sun. No one saw me do it so I didn’t tell anyone. Shaken, I went to my locker, retrieved my books and went to class.

In a very short time, the anxiety began to mount. I searched my brain. What did Mrs. Castle say about going blind if you looked at the eclipse? Oh, why don’t I ever pay attention in class? Will I go blind right away? Does it take hours? Days? Weeks? I guess I’ll still be able to play the piano. Just the songs I already know since I won’t be able to SEE the sheet music.

My head started hurting and my eyes started watering which made my sight blurry. The first sign of blindness? Then my stomach joined the party. I felt nauseous. I couldn’t take it so I told the teacher that I was sick, and she sent me to the office. As I sat in the stiff, plastic chair scared out of my wits, I wanted to grab the closest adult and yell, “I looked at the eclipse and I’m going to go blind! I didn’t. I waited.

The principal, Mr. Berg, walked by and saw that I was very upset. He asked me to step into his office. I followed him and sat down. He looked concerned and asked me what was wrong. I told him I was very sick. He wasn’t buying it. He actually knew me pretty well from a previous incident in which I was suspended for getting into a fight with a boy, but that’s a different story.

Mr. Berg gave me a sideways glance and said, “Tell me what’s really bothering you, Kammi.” Oh, my God, I spilled my guts. I told him the whole story and finished up by telling him with complete certainty that I would spend the rest of my life blind as a bat. I’m pretty sure he tried to conceal his amusement as he did his best to reassure me I would not go blind.  Since I only took a quick glance at it, he believed I would be ok. He advised me to tell my parents.

I did not get to go home early. He sent me back to class. Somehow I endured the rest of the afternoon, the bus ride and my walk home. As I made my way up the sidewalk to my house, I looked up at the sun shining in all its glory and I cursed it. I still wasn’t convinced I’d be ok despite Mr. Berg’s best efforts.

Well, I didn’t go blind, but I also never forgot this incident. 

 

Fast forward to the early 1990s.I was working in Detroit at Gale Research and, you guessed it, a solar eclipse. Armed with everything from homemade contraptions (like Mrs. Castle’s) to sophisticated telescopes, people convened at a viewing event in Hart Plaza. My friends and I planned to attend on our lunch break. Beforehand, I told them the sad tale of my middle school solar eclipse debacle. We decided this would be my day of redemption. I accompanied my friends to Hart Plaza with a strong sense of Sisu. Do. Not. Look. Into. The. Sun. I was up for the challenge. 

By time we arrived, the plaza was full of people jockeying for the best position. Again, it was a clear, lovely day. Using all of my adult resolve, I kept my gaze cast downward. Not this time. NOT THIS TIME. We used our make shift eclipse viewers and watched as the moon moved at a glacial pace between the earth and sun. Again, I was not impressed, so I watched the people watching the eclipse. An elderly man approached us saying he was from the Detroit News and asked what intrigued us about the eclipse. When it was my turn to answer, I told him I was here for redemption. Then I told HIM my middle school saga. We returned to work. I didn’t look into the sun. I didn’t go blind. 

The next day there we were, featured in the reporter’s article about the eclipse spectators at Hart Plaza. In one of the largest newspapers in Detroit, he told the Reader’s Digest version of my back story including my quest for redemption. I still have the article somewhere. It closed the book on my inner struggle with the solar eclipse. I was at peace.

 

photo: cosmic psychic

This brings us full circle to the solar eclipse on March 8, 2016. My view of the eclipse (pun intended) has significantly changed since my days as a writer at Gale Research. Chronic illness sidelined me shortly after my day of redemption in Detroit and my world was irrevocably altered. I view everything through a different lens since becoming ill. I see my world through the crystalline eyes of Spirit. In this way, I am able to witness how we are connected to each other and the world around us. This includes the cosmos.

 

"The March 8 solar eclipse shows you and your goals for the next six months. Chiron shows a wound in your mind, body or soul; an illness, disease or injury at the physical, psychological or spiritual level. It could be an existing wound from this life or a previous one, or it may come during the eclipse phase. With wounding comes healing, in some cultures there is only one word to describe both.

Jupiter shows how you need to take it easy. Saturn shows the struggle, pain and fear involved. Be patient, self-disciplined and take responsibility. Forgive yourself and others. Pluto shows your powerful will to succeed and gives recuperative and healing powers. The healing of your wound leads to a spiritual transformation and the evolution of your soul."  --Astrology King

 

With wounding comes healing. Isn’t that the best news ever? Love, Light, Forgiveness, Respect! Nothing I can do. Total eclipse of the heart.

 

Note: The total solar eclipse will be visible to people in South Asia, East Asia and Australia. Like so many events for us in the United States as of late, we will have to take it on faith that all is well and everything is happening just as it should be.